travelingidahogirl

Jobless

Or maybe I should say unemployed, to be more accurate. I always have a variety of jobs to do, but am not currently being paid (monetarily) for any of them.

I think before we came, I was pretty sure I'd be able to get another teaching job. Now, I realize that people get those jobs here and refuse to let go. Actually, it seems that regardless of the job, people take that approach. And now that I'm here, I can honestly say I don't want a regular teaching job because I know how it takes over my entire life. Right now, I am only stressing about budgeting our money and deciding/trying to find some employment. When I taught, I was stressing about EVERYTHING--each class, each student (not all at once, thankfully), each extra five minutes I spent trying to create a lesson, grade a paper, call a parent (over and over again, trying multiple phone numbers), buying groceries, planning meals, making meals, getting T to bed on time, wondering why Hubby wasn't calling to say when he was coming home, doing laundry, etc., etc. Of course, any working mother feels these things; I know they're not unique to me. But not having those stresses is not hard to get used to.

However, feeling unproductive is. (Which is good, I suppose. It would be truly sad if I was satisfied with feeling unproductive, right?) And, of course, there is always the money--or, rather, the lack of it. And so, the last few days have seen me polishing my resume, considering volunteering (which might eventually lead to a paying job), and wondering what I might reasonably be able to find to do.

I went to a tiny job fair today, and am now feeling depressed about my prospects. No one even wanted said resume. Applications are on line, for piddly positions, and for waiting lists for such positions to even open up. I know part of my problem, maybe most of it, is not really knowing what I want to do. I don't want to teach high school English (not an option I have anyway) right now. But other than that...? If I tried to write down the ideal job, rather than this nebulous idea swimming in my head, well, the response after it would be, "yea, right."

I want something that pays well, that keeps me busy while I am there, that engages my mind, requires some thought, some talent, that will look good on future resumes, that can be done between the hours of 9 and 3, Monday through Friday, that allows flexibility if an Italian adventure comes up, and that pays respectably enough that I can foot the bill for that Italian adventure without deducting a week's worth of groceries from the family budget.

Yea, right.

posted by travelingidahogirl @ 2:46 PM